Its been a while since I wrote a blog so I decided to do one now as my heads in a bit of a pickle. Writing it down usually clears the air!
I have no idea where to start with this blog so i guess ill just spit it out. (i love how ive stopped using capitals already).
The last few weeks have been ridiculous. My band split up was my main concern. I lost my best friend and I really am not sure why. When you spend so much time with one person it gets a little tedious and it wares you out. Because you spend so much time with that person you stop seeing all the good points and start focusing on the bad points. A band is like a family or a girlfriend, boyfriend, relationship, marriage etc. Its one big overaly protective, jelous family. If one person does something the whole band is affected. I cant even begin to explain what a band is and what i means to me. Without a band to write music for i think i would sink into the crowd and become a drone like everyone else in this town. A band gives me a feeling of hope, and gives me something to work for. It gives me the chance to express myself to everybody.
Im also rate confused about girls. I ve learnt far too much in a short space of time and its made me hate myself. Im useless with them lol. Although i like to think im a nice person i dont think i am. Its a fucking weird thing what girls do to you. But ive had to think for myself and make the right choice even though it might of been hard and twisted my head a bit, it'll work out better in the long run. Lifes about the choices you make. You dont EVER not have a choice. I wish i could get the thoughts in my head into words but it seems impossible tonight. I suppose you can always think if you have made the right choice. Maybe not. Ive learnt from experience that everything tends to unfold as it should and fits into place. It might only be for a short while but i guess your bound to make some choices without even knowing how big they may be. The smallest choice could make the biggest change.
Anyway im going off the point a bit and chatting on. Dunno if its even worth posting this blog and if it is im sure nobody will read it.
Suprisingly Owl City has been playing for 2 days straight and now it seems to sadden me rather than make me feel on top of the world. Weird how everything changes in 12 hours. Never thought id be in this weird situation yesterday.
id like to talk about some more conspiracies and theorys but im just not in the right frame of mind. i need some david ickes to cheer me up.
"Life is like a ride in an amusement park.
And when you go on it you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are.
And the ride goes up and down and around and around, it has thrills and chills and is very brightly colored. And it's very loud and it's fun for a while.
Some have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question is this real or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered and they come back to us and they say:
"Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid ever - 'cause this is just a ride!"
and we kill those people.
"Shut him up.
I have a lot invested in this ride,
shut him up!
Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real!"
...It's just a ride...
But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that - did you ever notice that - and let the demons run amok...
But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice - no effort, no work, no job, no savings of money.
Just a choice right now - between FEAR and LOVE."
that manages to cheer me up everytime. thank you for reading this if you did.
Seb
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